He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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