ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
