Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize