Can Purell be used as lube?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
