Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
