apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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