i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
