I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
