Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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