brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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