i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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