You work out of a Hotel?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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