Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
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