I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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