I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sorry about my life...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
