As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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