just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
