Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
