I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize