just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize