was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
