haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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