I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
