that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
