He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Randomize
