I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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