Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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