what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
only if we run a train.
done.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
