if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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