So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Randomize
