just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
