"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
