Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize