Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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