I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
