she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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