I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
