you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
