R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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