It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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