half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
