Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
