Buhtt sex?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
