I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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