Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
