trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
