He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
