a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Randomize
