my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize