but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
