I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
