CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
