So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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