You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
