laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
