I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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