Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
