He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
