Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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