Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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