Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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