I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
