i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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