I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
