PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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