We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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