I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
