we have officially lost it.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
