I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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