last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
