I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
