She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
